If you guys have read my “Skinny is Beautiful Too” Blog post (click here if you haven’t) you would know I had always been insecure. Not always openly, but always, about many things. The insecurities about my weight however didn’t start until way later in my life, when I was in college, my eczema was where most of my insecurities began.

For those of you don’t know, eczema is a skin condition, where your skin becomes rough, inflamed, covered in puffy blisters, super itchy, dry, flaky and a lot of the time, bleeding and raw. It effects you both mentally, and physically. It is painful, makes you feel ugly, disgusting, and honestly when it is bad, stops you from being able to live your life normally. When mine was bad, I couldn’t eat comfortably, couldn’t sleep through the night, didn’t feel like leaving the house, and couldn’t even sit and watch tv comfortably. I had it throughout most of my childhood and teenage life, like many eczema sufferers I went through phases of extremely severe, to mild/moderate, but never being completely free of it. When I was super young, I had it pretty much all over my body, my legs, stomach, arms, face, and my mum would spend hours a day rubbing cream all over me, oiling my body, and using the steroid creams prescribed  by the doctor, from memory I was prescribed Eumovate, E45 cream, and Oilatum, we used them all and they didn’t rid me from much but they provided the relief I needed to not be in discomfort 24 hours a day.

When I started primary school, the eczema had cleared up from the lower parts of my body, but it had spread more to the top half, all over my arms and my face, whereas before it had only been in patches there. It was red, bleeding, dry, and so so so itchy. I’m not talking itchy like a regular rash, this is a level of itchy that I have never experienced in my life to this day. It was the kind of itchy that you couldn’t ignore. Any eczema sufferer knows that every doctor will tell you DON’T ITCH, but it’s IMPOSSIBLE, ESPECIALLY as a child with a very limited understanding of consequences. It was the kind of itchy that doesn’t go away until you have literally scraped your skin off and you are bleeding, so now instead of being itchy you are burning and in pain, but honestly, I preferred that feeling to the itch (maybe that is why I have such a high pain threshold now lol) So yeah, that was exactly what I used to do, I would scratch my skin until it would bleed just to stop the itching sensation because no cream or medication that any doctor prescribed would take it away.

Of course when I was home my mum would stop me, I remember her pinning socks over my hands while I sleep to stop me from scratching but I would rip them off in the night, and while I was at school I had free reigns to itch whenever I wanted, and did not give the slightest f*** about having raw red cheeks and bleeding arms as long as it wasn’t itchy. Thankfully I was a pretty bossy/sure of myself child, with a LOT of attitude, I never Alhamdulillah experienced any kind of bullying, and I don’t ever remember anyone making fun of me or my skin. I remember once someone telling me I have ketchup on my face and me replying with so much confidence “ACTUALLY, it’s blood” and them looking at me like I am a complete psycho LOL.

Maybe I was fortunate to have gone to a school with nice kids, I know a lot of other people who have been bullied for their eczema and I can’t imagine what that must feel like. I am so so sorry that you had to go through that, I know it must have made things so much harder and I could very easily, but also very stupidly, sit here and give advice on a situation I have never experienced or been through, but I do know that it pays to be strong. It pays to shut people down at the first sign of shit talking no matter how hard it feels. I also know that no one notices your eczema like you do and most of the time people don’t notice it at all (unless you are a psycho like me who likes to make herself bleed). I know that the redness and the dryness and everything else never, EVER takes away from your beauty, it’s only in our own eyes that we feel like shit, it’s only in our own eyes that it looks so bad and the bullies KNOW that, they FEED of that, which is why it pays to act like you don’t give a shit. But I also know how much of a difference it makes to have hope that things will get better, that you will glow up and shit on all these b****** who thought they could chat shit to you, and this is why I’m writing this, to give you hope. I was told my eczema will never get better but Alhamdulillah it DID, so if it can happen for me it can happen for any of you, and I really really pray it does.

When I was around 10 years old (year 5/6 of primary school) was the first time I remember having a proper breakdown over my eczema. I was in so much pain, my skin was bleeding and raw to the point I couldn’t even wash my hands without screaming out in pain. I looked like a flared up, puffy tomato, in every family photo. It was summer and I was wearing a long sleeved hoody over my school uniform every single day and sitting in class sweating underneath but refusing to remove it. My mum was doing all she could to help me, she would oil and cream my body constantly throughout the day, she tried cutting out dairy and all the other things that we thought might be causing it to get worse (this had no effect on me btw) She would run me oatmeal baths by tying handfuls of oats in a cloth  and putting it in the bath as it filled, which was super soothing, and she would also drench my skin in mustard oil and Vaseline before I went to bed so I wouldn’t wake up dried out which made a massive difference to my skin. She also carried on pinning socks over my hands but now with nappy pins which made them harder for me to remove in the night, which stopped me from waking up and scratching my skin till it bled, but it wasn’t going. We were getting better at managing it, but at the end of the day, I was still in constant pain, I was still uncomfortable every single day, and I still felt like I was the ugliest creature to have ever walked the face of the earth, so my mum decided to visit a homeopathic doctor.

The one we visited was called “Forest Gate Homeopathic Practice” I think it is still open but I’m not sure if it is the same people who run it. My mum was recommended it by a friend and the doctor who dealt with me was an expert in eczema, his daughter suffered from eczema just like mine and he was really good at his job. He was extremely knowledgeable, very understanding of my situation, and from the first lot of medicines he gave me I noticed a difference; they were disgusting but it really felt like it was working. He informed us that it will get worse before it got better because my body would need to get it all out of my system, I don’t remember the exact time frames, but I remember it getting a lot worse and then I remember it started to get better. It was a proper process, we had scheduled appointments and each time we would receive a new set of creams and medications, and I was banned from using my doctor prescribed steroid creams as I’m sure most of you guys know they are not good for your skin at all, and I really noticed a difference. My skin started calming down, my flare ups were less frequent, and my skin was less dry. We were still doing all the other things like constantly drenching my skin in oils and creams, and the oatmeal baths, but the homeopathy was without a doubt making a difference. It was however, very expensive, the appointments from memory cost almost £100 each time, and on top of that the medicines cost £30-£40 each (bearing in mind this was almost 15 years ago when Fredo’s were still 10p and bus fare was like 20p, that was a lot of money) so, as soon as we felt that my eczema had calmed down to a comfortable level now, we stopped going. We didn’t finish the whole treatment honestly because we thought it couldn’t get better than this, I think I was around 14/15 when I stopped going and the skin on my face was almost perfect, my arms were dry, occasionally itchy, and had some scars, but bearable, and it was the best my skin had ever been up until that point.

For the next couple years I carried on with the same processes, Vaseline every day before bed, I never wore makeup, I also found that cranberry juice, blueberries, and drinking loads of water helped me have even better skin days, I only ever used products for sensitive skin, and I carried a tube of E45 around in my bag and would moisturise my face and arms every couple hours. I was still massively insecure about my skin, I met my best friend at the time a year or two before this while my skin was still red and puffy (not Raya yet, I met her later lol, they prefer to remain nameless for now but I will introduce them very soon) and they would constantly remind me I was beautiful and my skin was perfect, but I guess when you’ve been affected by something for so long, nothing anyone says makes a difference. The skin on my face was actually perfect by now, it was smooth and moisturised and it honestly looked like I had never had eczema in my life, my arms were still scarred but the lines were disappearing with time and after years of pulling my long sleeves over my hands and getting sent out of class for refusing to remove my jumper, I finally managed to wear my first ever ¾ length sleeves and I felt like a new woman (it was the most hideous pink bolero, WHO REMEMBERS BOLERO’S I WANT TO DIE RN pray for my fashion career LOL) it was the best I had ever felt, but unfortunately it didn’t last.

When I was around 17, it got worse again, worse than it had ever been, it spread to my neck and oh my god let me tell you, if you have eczema and it is not on your neck you have no idea how lucky you are. I have had eczema on every single part of my body at one point and this was BY FAR the most painful experience of my life. Your neck doesn’t heal, any other part of your body you can pretty much leave it alone for a couple days and slowly it will repair itself because you haven’t moved it, but your neck, is IMPOSSIBLE to not move it. The skin on your neck is one of the most sensitive on your entire body, mine was also super thin, so from the first flare up I got on my neck, things just got worse, because every time it would start to heal the smallest movement from my neck would crack it open again, the flare up would spread, try heal, crack open, spread, try heal, until it covered my entire neck, chin and the sides of my face, it was HORRIBLE. Trust me when I tell you if you ever feel even the slightest bit of eczema on your neck, don’t touch it, it will be the worst thing you will ever do. Try keeping your neck still for an hour, it is impossible and painful, now imagine trying to move your neck when it has scabs all over it and imagine them splitting open and bleeding while you move your neck. Imagine forgetting you have eczema, just for a second, and someone calls you from behind, you twist your head round a little too quick to look at them and in that split second all the partially healed eczema cuts rip right open and ooze down your neck stinging and burning all over again just because you dared to forget you have eczema for ONE second, nice right?

I was doing my AS levels at this point, it’s not like I could stay home and just sleep while it healed, I needed to build a life for myself, and for some idiot reason, “eczema” was not a valid reason for missing classes. My attendance was disgusting in college, I still came out with good grades but honestly I don’t think people understand that although you can for the most part, physically function, eczema really affects your mental state, you don’t want to go out, you don’t want to speak to people unless they are people really close to you already, you don’t want to walk into class or answer questions or SOCIALISE in any way, because you feel like a FREAK. Winter was always good for me, turtle necks and scarfs kept my freak show covered and the cold calmed my skin down, but summer was the WORST. Although the sun helped to heal my skin, the heat meant that I was constantly hot and so it would flare up again and again and I couldn’t even cover it up properly without boiling to death, maybe that is why I still hate summer? It’s so weird how these little things affect you even when you’re all grown up.

According to the doctors if you have eczema past the age of 16 you are now stuck with it for life, so I lost all hope. I didn’t want to live like this, I honestly didn’t even want to live at all I felt so disgusting. I would cry myself to sleep some nights because I was in so much pain, one point I considered scraping all my skin off thinking it will heel back eczema free, I would cry to my best friend because I couldn’t handle it but crying stressed my body out which made my flare ups worse which just made me cry more so it was a never ending cycle. I would pray SO MUCH wondering what I ever did to deserve this shit, I would look at other people with beautiful perfect skin and think I would do ANYTHING to look like you, I lost so much faith looking at people who actually did BAD things and wondering why didn’t God put YOU through this shit wtf did I do to deserve it. I tried going back to my routine of Vaseline before bed etc… but it didn’t work, so I eventually, I pulled myself together, decided there was no point in my feeling sorry for myself and not doing anything about it, and I made myself a new routine – this is what I believe was the game changer:

1. I never missed a prayer. I guess if you are not Muslim then this point won’t make sense to you, but understand that I had lost all hope, so for me it is number 1. The doctors had told me I was stuck with this for life, every blog I read online was telling me they are 35, 45, still suffering from eczema, so prayer was all I had to give me hope and calm me down. Every time I broke down, I broke down praying and acknowledging that Allah SWT is the only one who could make me better now. That even if everyone was telling me it is impossible, he can do it. I still to this day believe mine and my friends and family’s prayers to be the only reason my eczema got better but I will list the creams and the routine too because I’m sure it helped.
2. I started drinking 3 litres of water a day. I carried around a water bottle constantly and drank NOTHING but water. No coke, no sugary crap, JUST water, occasionally milk and fruit juices but water was KEY and made a massive difference. I noticed that if I stopped drinking my 3 litres just for a couple days my skin would instantly get worse and I STILL notice that to this day (although I have cut down to 2 litres now)
3. I started applying pure Aloe Vera gel. Every single day before bed and every morning before I moisturised, I used this one mainly.
4. My best friend at the time, who I mentioned before, found me the most amazing cream. It was called “Pure Potions – Skin Salvation” An all-natural cream created by a mother for her eczema suffering daughter, and it was AMAZING. It was a little expensive, but this post is in no way sponsored at all, this cream really really made a difference, you can read the Amazon reviews yourself and I cannot recommend it enough. It smelt a little funny and was a yellow coloured paste, but it gave me instant relief. Whenever I felt a flare up coming along, it would calm it down, sometimes overnight. If you try only one product from this blog post, make it this one. I still use it when I get a little rash or anything and it’s amazing – I would apply it every day before bed on top of my Aloe Vera gel and regular moisturiser (usually E45)
5. Vaseline or petroleum jelly is life. I know some people say bad things about this, but it worked for me and I still swear by it. I would cover my arms, face and neck in this before bed and put towels down before sleeping. My poor mum would spend hours boil washing my sheets and towels to get the grease out, but it made a massive difference. If you think about it, your sleep time is 8 or 9 hours a day you are going without moisturising your skin at all and that is horrible for eczema prone skin. Covering it with a layer to trap the moisture and give it something to keep supple from for those hours makes such a massive difference. You wake up with smoother, less red, and not flaky skin. Vaseline works better for this than creams or oils, because they soak in quickly and I found them just not thick enough to last the whole time while I was asleep. I would definitely recommend doing this if you have bad eczema.
6. I got rid of my steroid creams. I used to use them for really bad flare ups but read a LOT of negative things about them so stopped. I by chance came along a cream that worked SO well instead. It was an antiseptic local anaesthetic cream called Germolene, a navy blue coloured tube with a pink cream inside and my mum used to use it on us for cuts and scrapes. Once my skin was itching SO much and I without thinking scratched it quickly and it started bleeding, so I grabbed this as it was the closest thing to me and applied it, I kept applying it and in two days my skin had healed. It also slightly numbed my skin, so I think stopped it from itching so much whilst healing it and preventing it from getting infected at the same time. I used this very rarely only when I couldn’t physically handle the pain/itching, but it really helped speed up healing time and calm down severe flare ups.
7. I never ever let my skin feel dry. I carried a tube of E45, or a tub of the Skin Salvation cream, around with me EVERYWHERE. It was part of my life, as I left the house I would mentally check for phone, keys, wallet, face cream. As soon as my skin felt the slightest bit dry, I creamed it, this reduced the amount it itched BY FAR and made a massive difference.
8. I cut out a lot of shitty foods and just in general improved my diet. This could be why I got so skinny hence the “Skinny is Beautiful Too” post but it helped my eczema, so it was worth it. I naturally got to love salad, veg, fruit, smoothies etc… and too much oily/unhealthy food started making me feel physically sick.  I found cranberry juice and blueberries to have really good effects on my skin and in general after consistently eating better, I saw a noticeable difference.
9. I cut out most skin products unless they were natural/for sensitive skin. Hence my obsession to this day with the Dove Beauty Bar, the only thing I ever wash my face with. I also only used soap on my face in the evenings and in the morning used just cool water and a gentle cleanser such as pure witch hazel which also has amazing healing and skin calming properties.
10. Cool water only was another thing. Even my showers were quick and with COOL water, hot water is not our friend, along with long showers, and central heating and anything else that dries skin out.
11. The sun is your friend. The sun for some reason that I am yet to understand, helps calm your skin down and makes it better. I know we don’t like to go outside where people can see us but sit in some loose cotton short-sleeve clothing in the garden in the sun for a little while whenever you can, it made a difference for me so hopefully it will for your too!
12. And last but not least, use a gentle exfoliator, once a week. Mine was the oatmeal face scrub by Superdrug (link here) I used it very gently, it helped exfoliate off the top layer of shitty dead skin and my skin would get smoother each time. Once a week only though, if I used it any more my skin would get overly sensitive and flare up.

It took me a year and a half; a year and a half of the above routine, every single day without failure. No itching, no cheat days, no skipping your skincare routine, no forgetting a step, because the few times I did, my skin would flare up all over again. If you have a moment of weakness and itch, use the Germolene, heal, and continue the routine strictly. Try keep a diary of your flare ups, what you ate or did on those flare up days, see if you can find any consistencies, mine were dust and stress, which are unfortunately not easy to avoid, but other people I know have found things like dairy, or cats, etc… The occasional day of junk food or fizzy drinks was okay as long as I got back into routine immediately after, but the skin care routine was vital, I didn’t ever miss it, and it worked. By the end of college I was completely eczema free, I was left with scars, both physically and mentally, pigmentation from sitting in the sun, and very “dry in some places oily in some places” weird skin, but no eczema, no itchiness, no redness, no bleeding, no flaking, nothing, just skin – I did it! Despite everything the doctors had told me, despite everything that everyone had said, and despite me losing all hope, I completely got rid of my eczema, and have Alhamdulillah been eczema free ever since.

If you are suffering, I want to remind you that anything is possible. I am not a miracle worker, but I believe SO strongly, that if YOU believe you can do something enough, if you have enough faith in something, you can make it possible.

I forced myself for over a year to not give up, every single day I wanted too just live normally without having all these restrictions, but I told myself that if I did not try my HARDEST to get rid of this without giving up, I will regret it. I had faith that I could make it work and it did. Imagine going over a year with the same routine and seeing no lasting effect, it would go then come back then go again then come back worse, it would demotivate anyone, but please please please don’t give up.

Whatever you decide to do, whatever routine you want to try to get rid of your eczema, just make sure it is consistent and DON’T GIVE UP. Consistency is EVERYTHING, because that is how you make things LAST. Not a single part of this post is sponsored, some of the links are Amazon affiliate links just because Amazon is the only place I could find most of the products still in stock so why not use the affiliate function, but this is my pure, un-filtered, raw, complete and 100% honest experience, from beginning to end. I would never ever lie or try make you purchase something that I haven’t loved myself and I still believe that my praying was the main driving force in helping rid me of my eczema but if you are desperate like I was please try a few of the steps at least, some are free if you are weary of spending a little money, I know I was. I once signed up to some shitty “Weekly Eczema routine” crap that promised me Eczema free skin in 1 month LOL because I was so desperate to try anything, it didn’t work btw lol, anything that makes you a promise like that is 100% a scam, take it from me, but I really hope this post helps someone, or at least gives someone hope – hope is where miracles start from, and hope is everything you need to make things happen.

Please comment below if you have any questions, other tips to add, or just to share your experience or appreciation, I hope this helped at least one of you and please share with anyone else you think it might help!

Love you always xx

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