Have you ever looked at a stranger and marvelled over how incredibly beautiful he/she is? Have you ever looked at a stranger and wondered how they got their hair so shiny, or their skin so glowy, or how they had managed to put together the perfect casual cute outfit at 6am in the morning, or how they looked so effortless and fresh without wearing any makeup? I know I have, multiple, multiple times a day, for as long as I can remember being alive.

We notice these things about other people but for some reason it doesn’t ever cross our minds that those same people, and others too, might be looking at us wondering the exact same thing. It doesn’t cross our mind, because for most of us, until someone actually says something like that out loud, we wouldn’t even consider it a possibility, because our brains are just not programmed that way. For most of us, our brains are for some reason, programmed to think that everyone is noticing the massive spot on your cheek, instead of thinking that everyone can see that you have pretty eyes, thinking that that girl is staring at your bent tooth instead of thinking she’s looking at how good that lipstick looks on you, because for some reason, so many of us are programmed to see beauty in everyone else, except ourselves.

Just a while ago I responded to another bloggers story saying that she has the most perfect nose I had ever seen, honestly it was so perfect and straight and pointy that I couldn’t help but mention it, she responded by saying she was SHOOK because she HATES her nose and it was one of the things she was massively insecure about, and I thought wow? How is it possible for two people to see the SAME thing SO differently, but it is! I thought her nose was SO beautiful and I replayed her story a couple times wondering why my nose couldn’t have been like that, but she HATED IT, and it made me think.

I started thinking about all the times I have complimented someone, and they have responded by saying they thought the opposite. How many times I’ve told someone their hair looks nice or that their outfit is cute and they have responded with “omg my hair is disgusting today I needed to wash it” or “omg I felt like I looked like shit today” or “omg I felt so self-conscious in this outfit today” BUT I GENUINLY LIKED IT, and if I had never mentioned it to them, I would have gone the rest of my day thinking that THEY think they look amazing (because I thought they did), and they would have gone about their day thinking they look like crap.

Now think about how many times you have looked at a stranger and thought omg she has a spot, I can honestly not even think of ONE time, or a time you have looked at a stranger and thought omg her jeans and top are two different shades of black, nope not one time, SO WHY DO WE THINK OTHER PEOPLE NOTICE THIS SHIT ABOUT US? Maybe we focus on one shitty comment from some pathetic looser who had a problem with us, or a bitter comment from a guy we rejected, and get so set on that one comment and think about it forever without realising that NORMAL PEOPLE DON’T THINK LIKE THAT. Most people, in day to day life, could not give the slightest spec of a f**k about our little chin spot, they won’t even NOTICE IT, it’s only US that think that they do.

The more I thought about it the more I realised that other people see us SO differently to how we see ourselves – so much more positively, but because the amount of people actually willing to mention the positives out loud is pretty low, we find it difficult to notice them in ourselves, UNTILL we start noticing them in other people. Until I started noticing the amount of times someone has disliked something about themselves that I genuinely loved, until I realised that I hadn’t even noticed a girl had a spot until she said, “omg I have a spot”, it had never crossed my mind that the same was true for me too. That people probably love things about me that I had never thought of too, that people probably love things about me that I hate too, and that all along I went about thinking that people were noticing my flared-up skin or my frizzy hair or my mismatched socks, instead of thinking that they were looking at something pretty.

So maybe we should all start doing it more, speaking up when we see something that we like, commenting on that photo that we think is amazing, replying to that story that we think is cute or funny, telling someone that their top is cute or their hair looks good today, and notice how many people are SURPRISED.

Surprised because they didn’t think it was all that, surprised because you might have liked the one thing in that photo that had put them in two minds about uploading it, surprised because you complimented something that they were feeling self-conscious about all day, and then you will slowly realise that the same is true for you too.

The more you compliment others, the more you notice the beauty and the good in others, the more you will start seeing it in yourself; the quicker you will realise that someone out there looks at all those things that you consider flaws, as beautiful; because you are changing the way your brain thinks. You are pushing your brain to pick up and speak up about things you like, you are noticing that you love things about people that they dislike about themselves, so your brain will naturally do the same when you look in the mirror too. You’re changing your mindset to appreciate and acknowledge the beauty in others in a positive way, rather than a bitter envious way, so your mindset will naturally become more positive towards yourself too.

Compliments are so underrated, they can change someone’s entire day/mood, someone could be having the worst day but your small compliment that you thought was nothing, could change it all…

SO MANY times, I have gone to work feeling like absolute shit, and just ONE person telling me I look nice or that they like my outfit instantly makes me feel a thousand times better. I could have been quiet af the whole day not wanting to speak to anyone but that small confidence boost changes it ALL, and I find it so beautiful.

I find it beautiful that by just mentioning something that we like the look of, we can instantly brighten up someone’s day, what is more empowering and heart-warming, than knowing you just made someone’s day better, with such little effort too…

And how much more beautiful is it now, knowing that by making someone else’s day a little better you could change the way you view yourself too – you could see yourself more positively and feel more confident in YOURSELF, by complimenting OTHER PEOPLE – now THAT is the kind of plot twist I like.

Please comment your thoughts below, like, share and follow me!

Love you alwayss xx

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